“Strap on (Robbie baby)” Vanity

In 1986, Vanity (yes, that Vanity—the original queen of sultry glam and Prince's muse,) unleashed a song called Strap On Robbie Baby, a track so unapologetically bold, it makes a leather-clad biker gang look like a yoga class. Is it about relationships? Fashion? Power dynamics? Or perhaps a completely misunderstood tribute to DIY home improvement? Well, maybe... but mostly it’s about owning your badassery in a way that only Vanity could pull off.

The title alone—Strap On Robbie Baby—is a veritable masterclass in both innuendo and style. While the song’s meaning is often wildly debated (and not in a subtle, "interpret it however you like" kind of way), the fact is: Vanity isn't just singing about someone named “Robbie.” She’s making a statement, a fashion statement. It’s clear that this isn't some gentle, whispered love song. No, no. It's a command—a bold declaration that if you're not going to strap in for the ride, then you're not getting a front-row seat to the Vanity experience.

Lyrically, Strap On Robbie Baby is equal parts playfulness and dominance. The track has a swagger to it that could make even the most timid wallflower feel like strutting down the street in thigh-high boots and glitter. It’s like watching a pop princess spin around in a whirlwind of sass, power, and unshakable confidence. Robbie may be theoretically the one being “strapped on,” but really, it’s Vanity who’s in control of the whole situation—taking the reins of both the song and, dare we say, life itself.

The song blends Vanity’s sultry voice with an infectious groove, making you feel like you're at an ultra-exclusive nightclub, wearing far too much eyeliner, trying to keep up with a woman who has absolutely no intention of letting you catch your breath. She’s not just a symbol of 80s glam; she’s the embodiment of that era’s unapologetic, in-your-face energy, like a glittering explosion of satin, leather, and mascara.

Strap On Robbie Baby isn’t just a song; it’s an anthem for anyone who's ever felt like stepping out in high heels and saying, “I’m going to take over the world, but first, I’m going to look fabulous while doing it.” It’s a track that makes you want to grab a power mirror, throw on some purple eyeshadow, and strut like no one’s watching, even though everyone is watching—and they’re all secretly jealous. After all, Vanity said it best: if you’re not strapping in for the ride, you’re just not on her level.